2019 was the year my husband and I were lucky to welcome our baby boy into the world. It was also the year we spent around $17,500 throughout my natural pregnancy, and in preparation to be parents.

That’s right, $17,500.

And to be honest, there was at least $500 to $1,000 more that we didn’t tally up.

As a financial coach, I of course had a number in mind of what the lead up to birth would cost us. That was $14,000, which we’d dutifully built up in our ‘family’ account over a number of years.

But a few months into pregnancy, our savings were depleting much faster than I had anticipated. We’d spent a lot, but we hadn’t even bought anything for the nursery. So we moved $3,500 more into our family account to top it up.

I was documenting everything, and realised that there were a number of expenses I just hadn’t factored in. It became clear that the framework I’d used to budget for pregnancy and preparing to bring our baby home was too generic. I hadn’t taken into account enough of our personal context, priorities and preferences.

To help you avoid the same shock, I’ve decided to share our expenses here in full detail. It’s the nitty gritty on what the lead up to having a baby can really cost. I hope it helps you shape what matters to you, and to set a much more tailored budget.

Pregnancy and preparation

Our expense report includes two key types of expenses — the pregnancy aspect (medical costs and my wellbeing), and setting up for baby (things such as the pram and cot). I’ve included as much as I documented at the time, and can track down. I’ve tried my best to allocate the Medicare rebates to the correct medical appointments. You’ll see we were real tight arses in some areas, and we spent above and beyond in others!

You can treat this breakdown as a way of thinking about your own situation. What’s your personal context, what are your priorities, and what are your preferences? Your answers to these questions will dramatically influence your costs.

A dollar and emotional cost

Before this successful pregnancy, I sadly experienced a miscarriage.

I mention this, as it turns out that the cost of a miscarriage is much more than emotional. You essentially pay the same costs that you would normally up until the point that you miscarry.

Then you may pay for day surgery, which in my case was a $100 excess fee to my private health insurer. The total was around $800.

This came out of our family fund, so I’ve added the details into the report for full disclosure, and in case the information is relevant to anyone else.

Private pushed up the cost

When pregnancy number two came along, my anxiety about the baby’s health was heightened as a result of my miscarriage experience. I felt incredibly relieved that my husband and I had already decided to go down the private route so that we could have access to one obstetrician. We’d served the waiting periods on our health insurance, and whilst we didn’t fully understand what we were getting in the private package, I felt really well cared for.

This decision was an immediate leap in cost from going public — about $6,000 out of our pockets (plus the increase in our health insurance premiums in the 15 months or so between upgrading to a package that covered pregnancy and having our baby). However, the continuity of care helped to curb a lot of my fears. And when I ended up in an emergency cesarean, I was extra glad that I had an obstetrician I knew at my side.

Our private health insurance excess for my hospital stay was $725 — a pretty big amount that I’d completely forgotten to think about in my planning.

Scans and tests go on and on

From confirming the pregnancy through to monitoring baby’s health all the way, ultrasound scans turned out to be a frequent, costly, part of pregnancy. On the public route you can get some for free. On the private route, each scan averaged at around $300.

Because of my previous miscarriage, I had three scans by week 10, as the obstetrician was being extra cautious, and I was a nervous wreck. This meant we were around $900 down before we had a safely confirmed pregnancy.

At about seven weeks, my GP detected that I had a slight heart murmur. Having a family history of heart problems plus being in the first trimester, we just said “yes” when a $300 echo test was recommended. It thankfully came back fine, but it was $300 we hadn’t planned for.

We then navigated the countless options when it comes to genetic testing of the baby. We were offered various testing ‘packages’, with costs starting at a few hundred dollars and rising to over $1,000. We went for the middle-of-the-road cost options, going for the tests that have the most accurate results. But we still spent over $500 to gain this extra information on our baby’s health.

Small wheels, big wheels

To get baby around safely, we needed a good pram, and a bigger car.

The pram was one of the few items that I really cared about getting the best we could. I love to get out and exercise, so I wanted one that I could wheel with one hand with no worries, and be able to go off-road when up in the country. To get this exactly right, we ended up spending a lot. In one hit at Baby Bunting, the pram, along with a car seat, monitor and thermometer cost $2,483.84 (and that was with some items on sale).

As for the big wheels, we conceded that my tiny Suzuki Swift wasn’t going to fit us and everything in. It was time for a family car, (which would conveniently also be able to fit skis and snowboards in come Winter!). We opted for a car lease scheme rather than purchasing. We took the first $500 out of the family fund, so it’s noted in the report.

We also needed to check that we’d installed the car seat correctly, and a safety mirror, which in total was another $80.10.

Nursery needs

To balance the big costs, we played it more low key for the nursery items.

We hunted on Facebook Marketplace and scored a second hand bassinet for $80, and a cot and change table for $300 combined. The woman selling them also gave me a bunch of second hand sheets and mattress protectors, which was very welcome. We bought some extra sheets for $50.40, and a new rocking chair from Aldi for $200.

It was important to us that the nursery was a welcoming space, as I knew we’d be spending a lot of time in there. So we splashed on artwork from Etsy ($205.27), and some fresh indoor plants ($172 from our ‘house’ account). We also grabbed a cute washing basket and toy basket for $97.44 all up.

Being prepared with baby wipes was essential. We had a preference for environmentally friendly options even though they aren’t as cheap as regular wipes. We bought Bare & Boho reusable wipes plus a change mat for $88.69, and a bulk pack of disposable wipes from Hello Charlie for $85.90.

Recycle to save

Clothing is the area where I was incredibly restrained for both baby and me.

I wasn’t that interested in having a fancy maternity wardrobe, but it was obviously necessary to get a few stretchy pieces. I jumped online to ASOS and grabbed two pairs of maternity jeans and two dresses totaling $244, to wear for both work and casual purposes.

For baby, we said “yes” to seconds as we were more than happy to recycle. We were lucky to get so many hand-me-downs from family and friends that we hardly needed to buy a thing. I only bought two pairs of baby pants at the market with my ‘personal spending’ budget, and a couple of cute muslin wraps.

I admit though that I got caught up in the ‘shoulds’ at this point. Should I be buying him lots of cute new suits because that’s what parents do? I had to remind myself that recycling clothing felt right for us.

Personal wellbeing

When my pregnancy was confirmed, I planned to see a nutritionist to make sure I stayed in the best health that I could, to ensure baby was getting what he needed to grow, and because I thought it would be interesting to learn more about nutrition.

But then my skin went berserk and I spent $95 on products to help. When they didn’t solve the issue, I had to see a dermatologist at a cost of $245 for the first appointment, then around $185 for the follow up.

With my health budget blown on this and the heart scans, I felt that a nutritionist was off the cards (it seemed like a nice-to-have rather than a necessity).

However, a wellbeing factor I wasn’t willing to give up on was Pilates. Generic classes weren’t working out so well for my growing bump, so I made the decision to book a personal trainer so I could have my exercises tailored. It cost over $1,000 for 16 sessions. I “ummed” and “ahhed” about this expense, but looking back it was one of the best things I did. It kept me feeling fit and positive (and I did my final session just days before going into labour). In future, I would do it without question.

I decided to meet with a women’s health physiotherapist, which left me out of pocket $105, and to do some acupuncture which cost me $70 after health insurance. The pharmacy also did well out of me — vitamins, moisturisers, antacids for reflux and antihistamines cost over $250 (plus more from my personal spending).

Knowing how preoccupied I would be once our baby was born, I spent $318 at Melbourne Deli Box Hill on six month’s supply of all the ingredients I use to make my breakfast granola (which is an important part of my daily routine). And ahead of baby’s birth, I booked in for eyelash extensions, a manicure and pedicure. I felt the need for some pampering ahead of being a new mum. It set me back $231, but I felt great and it meant I looked vaguely human in the days after the birth.

Sentimental choice

It turns out that a lot of the decisions you make when it comes to new babies are emotional.

For us, capturing our newborn with professional photos felt really important. We were kindly given some cash to go towards this, which was a relief as the $850 for a suitable shoot package wasn’t something I had originally priced in. It wasn’t cheap, but the pictures are amazing and we’ll treasure the photos of the three of us.

In-the-moment costs

Our spending report is also full of things that just had to be done in-the-moment without much thought of the expense.

I mentioned the heart scan. Other things included parking at the hospital which was around $10 each visit (or more if the obstetrician was running late), and parking for the birth which cost $77 for the longer stay. As L-plate parents, we couldn’t say no to parenting classes, which cost $100. After my unexpected cesarean, we faced a secondary obstetrician fee of $250, pediatrician fees of $430, boarder fees and pharmacy expenses of $288.50 (net of health insurance). I elected to buy a Tubigrip from the hospital physiotherapist so I could aid my body’s recovery — another $15. And registering the baby's birth was $34.80.

The greatness of gifts

In addition to second-hand clothes, we were lucky that friends and family were generous and gave us other gifts and loaned us items. The most creative was a ‘nappy cake’ which provided us with enough nappies for the first month, saving us around $100. I was also given vouchers for facials and massages, and a hand pump for expressing milk.

Handy loans included fancy recovery shorts for postpartum use, breastfeeding-friendly clothes, and a spare bassinet so we could have one upstairs and downstairs at home.

What you don’t see

I’ve estimated that there’s a further $500 to $1,000 of spending that isn’t on the report, that my husband and I absorbed into our personal spending along the way. Things like more skincare products, more parking, more pharmacy items etc. ate up our day-to-day cash.

The report also doesn’t include the funds that were required to keep our household cash flow positive whilst I took leave from work in the weeks ahead of the birth (I’ll do an expense report of all our costs post baby’s birth soon — cash flow was key during the months I took off after). Like many people, I didn't have paid maternity leave from an employer. And whilst the Australian Government provides citizens with a parental leave payment, this contributed to our costs rather than fully funding my time out of the workforce. It showed how critical it is to do the numbers on your cash flow before pregnancy.

Emotion and convenience

When I look back at the figure of $17,500, I don’t like the number. I can’t help thinking of what else I could do with that amount of money. But I have confidence that for 95 percent of the spending decisions, we were intentional about them.

That said, a common theme that crops up is that emotion and convenience impacted some costs. These two factors could easily drive people into debt. It’s similar to when you’re on holiday and you’re in the moment and you think, “I won’t be back here anytime soon”, so you go tap, tap, tap with your card. You can be super planned, but you let things blow out at the last minute.

Tips to get your baby budget right

I’m a very organised and methodical person, and I was still shocked at how much it all cost. So I recommend a few steps when thinking about your own pregnancy and baby preparation.

Firstly, think about your context, so you have some idea of what things might be uniquely important to you. In my case, going down the private route met our needs. Maybe you have back pain issues and will need extra physiotherapy. Perhaps you’ll be living far from the support of family and friends, so paying for extra midwife consultations could help you manage better. It might be that fertility support or IVF is on the cards, so you’ll need to be ready with larger up-front sums.
Secondly, think about your priorities. As I said, I wanted a top quality pram but wasn’t fussed about having new clothing. For you it could be a new nursery kit that drives your spending.
Thirdly, think about your preferences. For me, finding products that were more environmentally sustainable was important. As mentioned, we opted for biodegradable or reusable wipes which aren’t the cheapest, but we felt happier with that choice. Your choice could be to buy local, or to ensure that everything comes from charity stores, or maybe you want certain brand names. Every decision will impact your costs.
Fourthly, have in mind that not all births go to plan, and it can be useful to have some budget factored in just in case. An unplanned cesarean and a couple of curve-balls with my recovery meant we were in hospital longer than expected, which pushed up the cost of my hospital stay. People I know had their baby in special care for a week after birth, and had to travel in and out of the hospital each day until they could take their baby home. This boosted taxi, Uber and takeaway food costs.
Finally, avoid the ‘shoulds’, or trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing. If a fancy nursery is not important to you, don’t get sucked in.

Remember the ultimate goal is to bring your child safely into the world and to enjoy the experience. But if you can keep your finances in check while you're at it, that’s one stress you won’t need to worry about when your baby comes home.